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Photo by Brooke Lark on Unsplash

Alhamdulillah, I reach 19 today. Thanks for all the warm wishes everyone. I love it.  That’s mean that I had live on this earth for 19 years. Yes, I’m still young, but I learned a lot in my 19 years life and I feel like to share it with you. Let’s start. 


My present self is totally different with my old version self. To be honest, I am an introvert when I was 8. I swear. I will only talk when the teacher asked me something, but I would answer it in one word only. (Orang melayu kata kita tanya sepatah dia jawab sepatah). One day, my Bahasa Melayu teacher challenged me to be in story telling competition representing my school. Yes, I had to be a story teller. I don’t really like it at first. But, then who knows I would love it so much. On that time, I knew that I was easy-to-memorize person and bad in Mathematics urghh (how I hate Mathematics). Day by day my confidence was getting better. I was not scared to face people out there, became more talkative, unluckily 😂 

I don’t even know that I have the debate talent. When I was in form 5 (17 years old), I need to represent my ‘rumah sukan’ in malay debate, unwillingly, because there is no one know how to debate during that time. Then, I just go to the competition. The motion was… oh goshh I forgot what the motion was. Sorry, guys and fortunately my team was the winner wohoo. After the competition, one of the Malay language teacher wanted me to join our Malay debate school team and I was like “Oh my god, are you serious?” (dalam hati la of course) I didn’t have any debate skills on that time. I just have the talking skill. But, I just say yes for that invitation and suddenly I felt in love with debate. I love it so much 😍 

For that reason, I know that I have changed. I have changed for a better me who have a quite high confident level. I do have the fear, but I know how to control it. Alhamdulillah Allah grant me a good confident level for me to enter entrepreneur life and become a full-time law student at the same time. My advice, doesn’t let your fear controls your life. Please don’t. If you have a low confident level, try to gain it day by day. You need to improve yourself even only 1%. Go get some help from your family or friends. If you not change your own life, until then you will not succeed. If you don't know how to improve yourself in the right way, I am here for you. I welcomed you to read my blog heheh as my blog is on self growth and self improvement 😎 

Okay, I hate to tell this to you actually, but I have to tell it no matter what, so you can take it as a lesson. Maybe some of my secondary school’s friends labelled me as a playgirl. I have been in a relationship for three times. I got three boyfriends in my secondary school. I’m sorry mom and dad. I know I can’t do that supposedly. But, for me my relationship back then was not a true relationship (cinta monyet). I don’t know how to value boys at that time. I don’t know how to think rationally. The only thing that I knew was I wanted to have fun. I don’t want to feel lonely when I got no boyfriend besides me. So, I don’t want to call it as a relationship. If anyone asks me “Have you been in any relationship before this?”, I will say no as that was not a true relationship. As I finished my SPM, I got a boyfriend anymore. I thought that it would be my last man, and I want to be serious with him. But, who knows that I can’t value people yet. I was with him for nearly one year. I love him so much. Yes. I love him, but he was not my ‘jodoh’ I guess. Maybe, the timing was not right. Maybe, it’s too early for me to find my future husband. Maybe, I’m not matured enough to think rationally. And many more maybe. I broke up with him during my second semester in law foundation. Why? Let it be secret. I was not happy with him. He always makes me cry. Go asks my housemates if you don’t believe in me. Suddenly, I found my true happiness. I found my true happiness in my friends. They always cheer me up, make me laugh with their own lame jokes. Then, I decided to break up with my ex-boyfriend because I knew he was a toxic and I don’t need such people to succeed.

I know that I still can be happy without him. I will be happy with my friends. And now, there is someone else manage to make me happy again. I will not mention his name here, but if you read this, friend, I wanna say thank you. I have a best friend for now. He is my best friend, my business partner and maybe life partner. Yes, I admit that sometimes he annoyed me, sometimes I hate him but actually he helps me a lot. I don’t think I manage to be an entrepreneur without his help. I really hope that our friendship will last forever (even we will get into many fights, maybe. I hope not).

For this reason, I learned that I can live alone. I can live on my own feet. I don’t need any guy to live. I learned how to value people. Who deserves to be in my life. Only certain people I will allow to enter my life. I also learned that you can be happy if you’re single. You only need someone who truly can be with you when you’re happy, when you’re sad. Who can understand you. Love is not only about the morning and night wishes. Love is about who will stay with you in building your own life.

I know this gonna be a quite long blog post, but here are the two biggest lessons that I learned in 19 years life. I hope that you will not do the same mistakes as me and I don’t want you to be sad anymore. Try to love yourself more and improve yourself for a better you. Try to fight with your fear in order to achieve your ambition and life goals. 


Thanks to @izzatiirafiee for being the first wishes 😍

Thanks for this boy for always be my 'ears' 😎

Thanks to my mom and dad who have been take care of me since 1999 💗

Comment in the comment section below: What is the biggest lesson that you learned in your life.
If you find this article are inspiring and helpful for others, do share it and re-pin it on your Pinterest. 


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A Malaysian girl who loves to inspire and empower ladies through her own stories.